Farewell
I have been thinking about writing this for a long time, but things have been kind of crazy at my end. I have been traveling and it has been really hectic. But now that I get the time, I want to write about an emotion that I felt.. an emotion that I had not felt for a long time.. an emotion of utter loss. At the helplessness of an individual against the forces of nature, the will of God if you would call it !!
For quite sometime, I have been grateful for the health and prosperity my near and dear ones have been blessed with. But the cycle of life and death does not spare anyone. I have been lucky to have been blessed with two healthy daughters and beautiful and healthy nephews and nieces.. I have rejoiced in the miracle of life. Having children truly makes one believe there is a God out there, who takes care of all this.. the incredulity of a perfect child, ten fingers, ten toes.. those tiny features.. all chiselled to perfection!!
But the loss.. the end of a life is so final. Losing someone close, is so heart breaking. Never to hear the sound of that person's voice again, never to hear her laughter again, never to hug her, never to touch her again. Never to hear her wry sense of humour and never to hear her advice. The loss of my grandmother, an incredible lady, who lived her life at her own terms and brought up three fabulous children on her own.
I remember the earliest days of my childhood, when she would come to our house. She was always very indpendant and resourceful in the face of any adversity. We would rejoice in her company. She would take us for walks to the nearby Rose Garden and buy us cola and other goodies. Every time we stepped out of the house with her, my brother would check, 'Biji, batua le liya hai na?' (Did you get your purse?). She was an inspiring woman and I had heard stories of her indomitable spirit and endearing sense of humour. She would have us all in splits with her comments and she had a quick wit with a ready retort to any situation.
It is sublime, I still expect to see her somewhere and my mind plays games and does not accept the finality of it all. I miss her immensely and I so wanted to meet her once before she left us all. But so was not to be. I couldn't make it in time and she was gone. She had a hard time last year and finally she stopped fighting. She was free of her suffering and I know she is in a better place, at peace and hopefully watching over us from wherever she was. Biji, jitthe wi tussi ho.. hun batua nahin chahida. We all miss you !!
For quite sometime, I have been grateful for the health and prosperity my near and dear ones have been blessed with. But the cycle of life and death does not spare anyone. I have been lucky to have been blessed with two healthy daughters and beautiful and healthy nephews and nieces.. I have rejoiced in the miracle of life. Having children truly makes one believe there is a God out there, who takes care of all this.. the incredulity of a perfect child, ten fingers, ten toes.. those tiny features.. all chiselled to perfection!!
But the loss.. the end of a life is so final. Losing someone close, is so heart breaking. Never to hear the sound of that person's voice again, never to hear her laughter again, never to hug her, never to touch her again. Never to hear her wry sense of humour and never to hear her advice. The loss of my grandmother, an incredible lady, who lived her life at her own terms and brought up three fabulous children on her own.
I remember the earliest days of my childhood, when she would come to our house. She was always very indpendant and resourceful in the face of any adversity. We would rejoice in her company. She would take us for walks to the nearby Rose Garden and buy us cola and other goodies. Every time we stepped out of the house with her, my brother would check, 'Biji, batua le liya hai na?' (Did you get your purse?). She was an inspiring woman and I had heard stories of her indomitable spirit and endearing sense of humour. She would have us all in splits with her comments and she had a quick wit with a ready retort to any situation.
It is sublime, I still expect to see her somewhere and my mind plays games and does not accept the finality of it all. I miss her immensely and I so wanted to meet her once before she left us all. But so was not to be. I couldn't make it in time and she was gone. She had a hard time last year and finally she stopped fighting. She was free of her suffering and I know she is in a better place, at peace and hopefully watching over us from wherever she was. Biji, jitthe wi tussi ho.. hun batua nahin chahida. We all miss you !!
Comments
I lost my grand-father a little more than a year ago, and it was a loss I was never quite able to get past ..thats probably why the entry struck a chord ..