Encore
Life as a mother is pretty demanding and much more rewarding. First time parenting was hard for us. We were scared, the baby was sooo small and delicate and we just didn't know what to do every time she cried. We wanted things to be perfect for her.. if the doctor said she should feed every 3 hours, we would worry if she asked for her feed early.. if she slept through a feed we would panic again. If she cried, we would rock her and carry her around trying to soothe her. As a result we were always on tenterhooks and also tired by the end of the day trying to do everything RIGHT. We pampered her no end, bought her so many toys but hardly found the time to play with all of them. She wanted us, our time and our warmth.... and she was happy to be with us. The toys were for us :) Every milestone she reached was a joy for us and we prided in her growing up so well. When she started eating solids, we wanted her to learn to eat soon.. and to eat everything and to finish all that was put in the plate. Maybe I was the finicky one here, but we were always worried about her not eating well. She was doing well on the charts but we continued to make meal times difficult for her.. as she did for us by refusing everything that was offered. Now when I watch Ananya I see that she has learnt everything well.. she has her preferences, very much like my husband's (thank God for that) and she can go overboard eating chocolate in any form and shape. She is growing up fast and is a tall girl for her age.. and we used to wonder if she was getting enough to eat !!
Second time around things are more relaxed. Husband thinks I can handle it all and he is happily off to work except for the first one week when I was too weak to handle her alone. I am relaxed about her feeds.. if she wants to feed every 2 hours .. so be it. She wants to sleep through a feed for 4 hours, so be it. When she cries, I coolly check for the signs, does she want a change, is it time for another feed.. maybe she is just a little colicky.. or just clearing her lungs. I call out to her and she smiles.. and she forgets that she was crying. I watch her trying to turn onto her stomach.. but do not worry about how far or near the milestone is. I let her be the little angel that she is.. watch the two girls play (I need to relax a little on that front) and think how much fun it is to watch this angel play and grow. I thank God for the two beautiful girls he has given me, healthy and loving. In every prayer I said, I only asked for a healthy child.. Ananya asked for a sister and God listened to us both and gave us this beautiful healthy angel :)
It is easier this time as I am not scared.. I am an experienced mother and know that just like my first baby turned into a beautiful princess, my second baby will grow up too.. and I want to savour each day I have with her... before she becomes too busy with her own life. I love the smiles she reserves for me.. that no one else can elicit from her. The way she quietens down when she finds herself in my arms next to my body.. when she knows she is safe and this is where she can sleep.
When Ananya was born I couldn't wait for her to grow up.. so that she could understand me and we could do things together. It is fun doing things with Ananya and to watch her become more and more independent each day.. but with Jahanvi, I suddenly wish time would slow down and allow me to experience all the nuances that only an infant can offer.. the innocence and unconditional love. This time I want to remember it all. What joy motherhood offers... and I am thankful God blessed me not once but twice.
Second time around things are more relaxed. Husband thinks I can handle it all and he is happily off to work except for the first one week when I was too weak to handle her alone. I am relaxed about her feeds.. if she wants to feed every 2 hours .. so be it. She wants to sleep through a feed for 4 hours, so be it. When she cries, I coolly check for the signs, does she want a change, is it time for another feed.. maybe she is just a little colicky.. or just clearing her lungs. I call out to her and she smiles.. and she forgets that she was crying. I watch her trying to turn onto her stomach.. but do not worry about how far or near the milestone is. I let her be the little angel that she is.. watch the two girls play (I need to relax a little on that front) and think how much fun it is to watch this angel play and grow. I thank God for the two beautiful girls he has given me, healthy and loving. In every prayer I said, I only asked for a healthy child.. Ananya asked for a sister and God listened to us both and gave us this beautiful healthy angel :)
It is easier this time as I am not scared.. I am an experienced mother and know that just like my first baby turned into a beautiful princess, my second baby will grow up too.. and I want to savour each day I have with her... before she becomes too busy with her own life. I love the smiles she reserves for me.. that no one else can elicit from her. The way she quietens down when she finds herself in my arms next to my body.. when she knows she is safe and this is where she can sleep.
When Ananya was born I couldn't wait for her to grow up.. so that she could understand me and we could do things together. It is fun doing things with Ananya and to watch her become more and more independent each day.. but with Jahanvi, I suddenly wish time would slow down and allow me to experience all the nuances that only an infant can offer.. the innocence and unconditional love. This time I want to remember it all. What joy motherhood offers... and I am thankful God blessed me not once but twice.
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