Encore

Life as a mother is pretty demanding and much more rewarding. First time parenting was hard for us. We were scared, the baby was sooo small and delicate and we just didn't know what to do every time she cried. We wanted things to be perfect for her.. if the doctor said she should feed every 3 hours, we would worry if she asked for her feed early.. if she slept through a feed we would panic again. If she cried, we would rock her and carry her around trying to soothe her. As a result we were always on tenterhooks and also tired by the end of the day trying to do everything RIGHT. We pampered her no end, bought her so many toys but hardly found the time to play with all of them. She wanted us, our time and our warmth.... and she was happy to be with us. The toys were for us :) Every milestone she reached was a joy for us and we prided in her growing up so well. When she started eating solids, we wanted her to learn to eat soon.. and to eat everything and to finish all that was put in the plate. Maybe I was the finicky one here, but we were always worried about her not eating well. She was doing well on the charts but we continued to make meal times difficult for her.. as she did for us by refusing everything that was offered. Now when I watch Ananya I see that she has learnt everything well.. she has her preferences, very much like my husband's (thank God for that) and she can go overboard eating chocolate in any form and shape. She is growing up fast and is a tall girl for her age.. and we used to wonder if she was getting enough to eat !!

Second time around things are more relaxed. Husband thinks I can handle it all and he is happily off to work except for the first one week when I was too weak to handle her alone. I am relaxed about her feeds.. if she wants to feed every 2 hours .. so be it. She wants to sleep through a feed for 4 hours, so be it. When she cries, I coolly check for the signs, does she want a change, is it time for another feed.. maybe she is just a little colicky.. or just clearing her lungs. I call out to her and she smiles.. and she forgets that she was crying. I watch her trying to turn onto her stomach.. but do not worry about how far or near the milestone is. I let her be the little angel that she is.. watch the two girls play (I need to relax a little on that front) and think how much fun it is to watch this angel play and grow. I thank God for the two beautiful girls he has given me, healthy and loving. In every prayer I said, I only asked for a healthy child.. Ananya asked for a sister and God listened to us both and gave us this beautiful healthy angel :)

It is easier this time as I am not scared.. I am an experienced mother and know that just like my first baby turned into a beautiful princess, my second baby will grow up too.. and I want to savour each day I have with her... before she becomes too busy with her own life. I love the smiles she reserves for me.. that no one else can elicit from her. The way she quietens down when she finds herself in my arms next to my body.. when she knows she is safe and this is where she can sleep.

When Ananya was born I couldn't wait for her to grow up.. so that she could understand me and we could do things together. It is fun doing things with Ananya and to watch her become more and more independent each day.. but with Jahanvi, I suddenly wish time would slow down and allow me to experience all the nuances that only an infant can offer.. the innocence and unconditional love. This time I want to remember it all. What joy motherhood offers... and I am thankful God blessed me not once but twice.

Comments

Shivali Mittal said…
Very touching and very sweet....
April 21, 2009 at 4:20 AM
Yamini Kaur said…
Thanks Shivali for reading and leaving a comment.
April 21, 2009 at 5:15 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

IC 814 revisited

Watched the program on National Geographic about the IC 814 hijacking. It was a little too dramatacized and the passenger's angle was totally missing. But for 2-3 passengers, they totally reported the whole episode from the Captain Devi Sharan's point of view. Nothing wrong with that, but only that it was just a very small view of the whole episode. I am sure they must have a lot of footage of the time when the plane was in Kandhahar, Afghanistan, but they didn't show much of that. It also reminded me of my own article, which I had written when I had just come back from the ill-fated trip. The whole office was abuzz with the news that a colleague had been on board the plane and the first day I came back to work I was bombarded with questions and more questions. It was so bad that I had lost my voice by the end of the day. So I decided to write the whole thing down and send it to my friends in office. That article got forwarded around quite a bit, and finally found a place ...
Read more

What if ...

I have a lot of ' what if ' moments. When after a day is done, I revisit some gone by moments in my mind and keep wondering ' what if '. I am sure there must be others who also do this, but my ' what ifs ' actually don't let me sleep or think and I go crazy replaying the events in my mind. My latest ' what if ' happened when I dropped my watch in the mall yesterday. Jahnavi asked me to pick her up and put her down so many times that at one point the watch came undone and probably fell down. I noticed my bare wrist soon enough but then I was wondering if I had put on my watch in the morning ? So instead of looking for my watch there, I assumed that I hadn't. Of course as you must have deduced by now, I did put it on and now it is gone. ' What if ' I had just looked around at the time !! ' What if ' I hadn't just taken the easy way out and kept walking !! The whole scenario has been gnawing at me and I am unable to sleep. I jus...
Read more

Civic Sense

I always keep wondering, when will people in India learn some civic sense. I have seen a lot of cities around the world, but none come anywhere close to what Indian cities can offer in the lack of civic sense. But then with many people struggling to even make ends meet, this might be the last thing on their minds. So I would excuse that strata, but what does the middle class and the upper middle class have to say for itself ? Even the so called cream of the society totally lacks any sense of responsibility of the community. Chauffeur driven Mercedes cars, and at the traffic light the driver opens the door and spits out the paan. The children and adults, roll down the window and throw out the wrappers and tissue papers. Is the city except for their own cars and houses a huge dustbin ? One would think so. Elevators.. in my own office. I have seen people not wait for me when they knew I was approaching the lift. All it takes is to lift a finger and press the Door-Open switch, or just tell...
Read more